I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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