One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
