its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
