Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
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