She's JV to your varsity
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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