D3 body, D1 cock
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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