I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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