remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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