my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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