just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
