wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
