Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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