let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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