i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
