and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
