hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
