Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
