Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
