I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
