butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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