This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
