I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
