Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
