Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
