not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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