i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
