Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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