i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
