i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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