Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
