So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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