Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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