The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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