I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
