He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
