I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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