don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
