Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
