before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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