Moan for me like Helen Keller
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
