she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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