its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
