You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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