and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
