walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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