We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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