He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
