So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
