Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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