Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think people are normalizing furries
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
