Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
