May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
