Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
